It’s painful to realize that someone you care about is struggling with drug addiction. Not knowing how to get a friend to stop doing drugs can preoccupy the mind, the more concerned you become. It’s important to know what steps you can take as you help your friend not only realize and admit that they have a drug problem but also agree to seek professional treatment.
At Insight Recovery Center, we support you and your loved one in getting help. We offer evidence-based therapies in our opioid abuse treatment center—as well as our programs for benzo, cocaine, meth, and alcohol addiction.
How to stop someone who is addicted to drugs
Learning how to deal with a friend with a drug addiction can feel like a huge responsibility, especially if it seems like they aren’t considering going to rehab. The urge to fix things is strong when worry runs high, and you are looking at a loved one become increasingly trapped by drug dependence and addiction. Unfortunately, you can’t fix things, but there are many things you can do to support your friend or family member in reaching the conclusions you hope for—that they have a problem and need professional help.
Before approaching your loved one:
- Educate yourself about addiction, including the stages, dangers, and effects
- Decide what steps you’re going to take, in what order, where, and when
- Consider entering therapy or seeking the advice of a therapist to protect yourself and the relationship along the way
- Reach out for support to other friends and loved ones of the person you’re worried about
- Be prepared to be shut down in the beginning, and realize your loved one may react with anger, withdrawal, defensiveness—any response is possible at first
- Manage your expectations because, as positive as your intentions are, you cannot control the outcome, and it’s not your fault if you don’t achieve the results you hoped for
What to do if your loved one or friend is high or intoxicated when you want to have a conversation about their substance use? Wait for another time. There is no benefit to speaking to them when they are under the influence. You will find your opening.
The intervention, concern, and loving support of a caring friend or relative often have a positive impact and can help people with addiction regain their lives and health.
Practical steps: how to get a friend to stop doing drugs
Though you can’t control the outcome or force someone to change their behavior, you can positively impact them with your compassion and commitment to their well-being.
Be non-judgmentally honest
Truth is essential, but without making or even hinting at judgment. Your loved one will respond more transparently if you approach them with openness and compassion. Practice what you are going to say ahead of time to feel confident about your approach.
Speak factually using examples of what you have observed
This isn’t the time to focus on your own feelings or how difficult this is for you, even though it undoubtedly is. That’s not why you’re here to help. When your emotions start to feel overwhelming, make a conscious effort not to center the moment around yourself. Simply being present will quietly show them that you care and are concerned, even without saying a word.
Listen
You are likely to hear many things from your friend, and, at first, these responses may be frustrating. Understand that they are likely defense mechanisms. Let your loved one speak their mind without shutting them down. You may gain insights into their thinking that will help you understand how to move forward in supporting them.
Respond with empathy
Acknowledge how difficult it is to have the conversation, show that you understand that they may feel fear and anxiety about stopping drug or alcohol use, and reassure them that you are there for them.
Offer practical help
No matter where you are in the process with them, be there in real time, offering real help. The initial conversation is just the first step. If they know you are there for them, they are more likely to feel brave and proceed toward getting professional support.
The risks to loved ones trying to help people with a substance use disorder (SUD) are codependency and enabling. Learning to avoid these pitfalls is important.
What does enabling mean?
Sometimes, when people want to help a loved one who has a substance use disorder, the impulse is mixed with the urge to protect them. The many negative consequences of a loved one’s addiction become dragons to slay, protecting them from bad outcomes. This is enabling.
You may be falling into some enabling patterns if you:
- Make excuses for your loved one regarding their problematic behavior
- Lie for them or cover up their lies
- Avoid conflicts, for example, by starting to believe them when they deny there’s a problem
- Give them money or other financial support to help tide them over when they’ve lost a job or spent their money on drugs or alcohol
- Find yourself tolerating poor behavior despite its negative impact on you
Enabling behavior is a sign of codependency, which ultimately results in harmful outcomes, despite best intentions. Again, consider accessing therapy for yourself as you deal with a friend with a drug addiction.
Connect with Insight Recovery Center today and get started on opioid abuse treatment
The staff at Insight Recovery Center can help you help your loved one. Start the conversation with us as you have these crucial conversations with them. When it’s time to enter substance addiction treatment, we will be ready to provide the best evidence-based therapies for your loved one in a safe setting, surrounded by caring professionals.
Your care and concern for your loved one are admirable and could save their life. Call 828.826.1376 today or use our online form to start the conversation.