Alcohol addiction is a disease that negatively affects intimate relationships, sometimes to the extent that a spouse’s alcoholism becomes a reason for divorce. If your wife is suffering from alcohol use disorder (AUD) and you have run out of ideas about how to help her get well, you may be asking yourself, when is it time to divorce an alcoholic? There may be avenues to recovery that you haven’t yet thought of or tried, but in the end, protecting yourself and your family is as critically important as it is for your wife to get the help she needs. Our women’s recovery center in NC at Insight Recovery Center has programs to help her. Meanwhile, you need to find what helps you, too.
How alcohol addiction harms marriages
Alcohol addiction can create emotional distance, increase conflict, and erode the foundation of a partnership. Acknowledging these impacts is an important step toward understanding the full picture and deciding how best to move forward, both for her recovery and your relationship’s healing. As you reflect on the ways that your wife’s drinking is affecting each of you and your relationship, ask yourself which scenarios apply to you.
Does her next drink seem more important than you and your marriage?
Addiction leads to compulsive behaviors driven by physical dependence. Avoiding the side effects of early withdrawal is paramount. Everything else takes a back seat—even a marriage.
Is your trust being eroded?
Trust is critical in any marriage, and is one of the first things to suffer when someone in the relationship has an AUD. If your spouse hides bottles, drinks secretly, or lies about her drinking even when you ask direct questions, your trust in her may be badly damaged.
Do you frequently experience conflict regarding your wife’s drinking?
If even the smallest thing can spark an argument about her drinking, there is a problem. Anything from a compassionate show of concern to a perceived judgmental glance can trigger discord. When that happens, communication is compromised.
Is your wife’s drinking affecting your financial situation?
Alcohol addiction costs money outside the household budget and can also lead to loss of employment or loss of hours due to absenteeism. The resulting financial strain can become intolerable.
Has your wife behaved violently?
Loss of impulse control is a hallmark of alcohol addiction and can lead to violence or aggression. If your wife has behaved in emotionally, physically harmful, or traumatizing ways, this can erode the bond between you, sometimes irrevocably.
Do you notice a loss of emotional intimacy?
Because alcohol affects the brain, it can lead to memory loss, disorientation, and the inability to focus, for example, on what once were priorities, like staying connected to you. If you and your wife are no longer there for each other due to her drinking, this is a serious blow to your connection.
When is it time to divorce an alcoholic? The answer to this isn’t always easy or clear. This isn’t about blame, but if you don’t see a way to protect yourself and the family while staying in the marriage, your spouse’s alcoholism may be a reason for divorce.
You have an alcoholic wife: when is it time to leave?
If your wife’s drinking is damaging you, your family, and the marriage, it may be time to end things.
Alcohol addiction means there are no easy answers. Recovery requires that your wife acknowledge that she has a problem, is ready to commit to getting well, and shows commitment to doing the work. Nothing will change without her willing participation in what is a lifelong process.
If you have sought advice, tried everything you can, been honest with her without judgment or blame, and nothing has worked, your marriage may not last.
What is the divorce rate for alcoholics?
Divorce is much more common for marriages in which one or both parties has a drinking disorder—almost 20% higher than the average in marriages not affected by alcohol addiction.
Professional detox and addiction treatment
Thinking about ending a marriage is painful because divorce can traumatize a family. But so can addiction. If your wife has not yet decided to get professional help, the staff at Insight Recovery Center in Asheville, NC, can talk to you about ways to approach the conversation in an attempt to get her the help she needs.
Medical detox can ease the most difficult symptoms of withdrawal, and evidence-based treatments in a safe setting can help her begin a confident and healthy recovery.
Schedule an appointment at Insight Recovery Center today for women’s rehab in NC
If you aren’t quite ready to dissolve your marriage and want to try one more thing before you decide, we can help. Call us at 828.826.1376 or use our convenient online contact form to connect with one of our staff. Our women’s recovery center is an ideal setting for your wife’s journey back to sobriety. We are here to help you and will follow your lead as you share with us about your spouse’s addiction.