The words, “How do I stop my wife from drinking alcohol,” convey love, concern, and fear for the future. They mean that your life partner is in danger, and you don’t know how to fix it. Helping someone with an addiction is neither simple nor easy, but fixing things is not something you can do, nor can you stop her from drinking. What you can do is show love, set boundaries, and offer practical and emotional support.
Helping your wife shift her thinking enough to desire change is a good outcome to strive for. Insight Recovery Center, a women’s alcohol rehab in NC, is an excellent way for her to feel safe and supported while pursuing recovery. Professional addiction treatment encourages and supports long-term sobriety.
Signs your wife has an alcohol use disorder
The realization that a family member is dependent on alcohol can sneak up on you. Has your wife’s social or casual use of alcohol become an addiction? Consider the signs of alcohol use disorder (AUD) to confirm or allay your fears.
Does your wife:
- Drink to excess every day?
- Talk about cutting back, but can’t stick to a plan?
- Miss work often with no explanation?
- Become intoxicated every time, or nearly every time, she drinks?
- Hide her use of alcohol or lie about it?
- Drink at dangerous or inappropriate times, such as when driving, in the office, or before breakfast?
- Spend outside the family budget to keep alcohol in the house?
- Prioritize her next drink over her relationship and communication with you?
- Suffer from frequent hangovers or show signs of withdrawal if she can’t get a drink?
These are signs that she’s not in control. Addiction has taken the wheel. You are right to be concerned, but there are things you can do to help her.
How do I get my wife to stop drinking: supporting a spouse
As you approach your wife about her drinking and your concerns, remember that, tough as this is, leading with compassion sets the tone of the conversation. Avoid blame or criticism, and instead express your concern for her well-being and your relationship. Let her know you’re coming from a place of love and support, and that you’re there to help, not to judge. This approach can help lower her defenses and open the door to honest dialogue.
Here are a few other suggestions:
Educate Yourself
Do the research before opening the topic. Learn about the stages, dangers, and long-term effects of alcohol abuse, and the various options for starting recovery with professional support.
Be honest without judgment
People struggling with addiction easily feel judged when loved ones simply ask questions or express care and concern. Telling the truth means stating proven facts about addiction and explaining what you have observed firsthand about your wife’s alcohol use. Avoid inflammatory language like “you’re out of control” or “you’re killing yourself.” Use supportive, hopeful language.
Manage your expectations
In the early discussions you have with your wife, she may be unwilling to hear you, in full denial that there is a problem, or simply afraid. She may tell you how hurtful you are being, as if addiction were a character flaw or crime, not a disease. It often takes time to notice the shifts in her, from anger and stonewalling to vulnerability and openness.
Listen
Listening is half of communication. Try to listen with empathy and an open mind. Sometimes listening is the most important thing at the beginning. Being present and supportive without talking a lot or interrupting her sends a powerful message.
Don’t avoid the hard stuff
Once you have established dialogue, be clear that you believe she needs professional help and that you are there to support her.
You may have to return to the same conversations many times over. Be sensitive to your wife’s limits. Thank her for engaging, sharing her truth, and hearing you. Tell her you can talk about this another time.
Connect your wife with Insight Recovery Center for women’s alcohol rehab in NC
What do you do when you don’t like your partner drinking? You find her the best support options available. At Insight Recovery Center in Asheville, NC, we offer evidence-based treatments in our women’s partial hospitalization program (PHP), which offers a high level of care and 24/7 access to staff support. Medical and therapeutic professionals will provide her with therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). She will have the support of peers and benefit from follow-up care in our aftercare program.
Let us help you help your wife begin recovery and return to her best life. Call 828.826.1376 or use our online contact form to connect with us.